Learning to Play Again

I did not realize I had forgotten how to play.

I knew how to work.

I knew how to survive.

I knew how to carry responsibilities that were never meant for my shoulders.

But somewhere along the way, I misplaced joy.

As children, we don't need permission to play.

We dance in grocery store aisles.

We laugh until our stomachs hurt.

We create entire worlds out of cardboard boxes and imagination.

Then life happens.

Responsibilities arrive.

Heartbreak arrives.

Trauma arrives.

And for many of us, joy becomes something we schedule instead of something we experience.

For years, I convinced myself that I would enjoy life after I completed the next task.

After the next goal.

After the next achievement.

But healing taught me something different.

Joy is not a reward.

It is nourishment.

One afternoon, I found myself coloring.

Not for a project.

Not because it would make money.

Just because I wanted to.

At first, I felt ridiculous.

Then I felt free.

That small moment reminded me that healing is not only about processing pain.

It is also about reclaiming pleasure.

Reclaiming curiosity.

Reclaiming wonder.

The child inside me wasn't asking for perfection.

She was asking for permission.

Permission to laugh.

Permission to create.

Permission to enjoy being alive.

REFLECTION

Healing is not only returning to the parts of yourself that were wounded.

It is also returning to the parts of yourself that once knew joy.